Jonathan Severson has played board games and other tabletop games all of his life. His wife Sheryl does not, but has always been supportive of his hobby. So much so, that she let him set up his game collection in the living room. Now, any neighbor that passes by can look through their large picture window and catch a glimpse of the collection’s awesomeness.
However, Jonathan was hiding a terrible secret. One that would shock his neighbors and leave his wife in tears: Jonathan had never won a board game his entire life.
Jon’s wife Sheryl is devastated. “I mean, who has that many games and has never won a single one?! He plays twice a week. It’s just unbelievable. I don’t even know who I married anymore.”
A large crowd came together outside the Severson’s house on Friday evening to condemn the display of games they had all grown to appreciate.
“False representation!” Barry Evans yelled out. He lives just down the street and is calling for Jon to either move the collection to a different room, or board up his windows. “Think of the children. This is a good town. An honest town. We don’t do stuff like that here!”
We asked Jon how he justified the large collection.
“Hey, I just like to play. I never said I was good.”
The couple is currently discussing a divorce. Sheryl is working towards getting half of the games in the settlement, which she plans to sell and use the funds to change her identify.
Note: This article is satire and for entertainment purposes. There is no affiliation with any of the companies or people mentioned in the article.