‘Lab Grown Board Game Group’ Campaign Smashes Kickstarter Records

A new Kickstarter campaign that promises to solve everyone’s problems finding a dedicated game group has smashed records and raised over $500 million dollars.

LSG, Inc CEO – Andrew Bjork

“Lab grown humans, or Meeple Meatbags as we call them, are the perfect solution to a board gamer’s problem of finding people to play with each week. I’m not surprised at the projects success.” says Andrew Bjork – project creator and CEO of Life Solutions for Games, Inc.

Base pledges started at $900 – which included one single Meeple Meatbag that would always be available to game with. Backers had the ability to upgrade their pledge to $1500 to include an additional Meeple Meatbag.

Backer Alex Dwyer thought the upgrade was an easy choice “While there are some two player games I love, three players is really where it’s at. The creators are already playing God with the project – might as well get the most of it. Though, I’m definitely going to figure out how I’m going to stuff two of them into a Kallax.”

The campaign goes into great detail describing the process of how Meeple Meatbags will be lab grown overseas in China. LSG, Inc. is even able to pre-age them to about their mid-thirties.

“It’s really the perfect age” Andrew goes onto explain “They’ll be right on the edge of a life crisis and filled with depression – so of course the Meeple Meatbags will attempt to fill the void with purchasing new games.”

Production and delivery of the Meeple Meatbags is expected to be around eight years.

“The delivery date may seem like a long time out to a non-board gamer, but we’re pretty use to it by now. Plus, there is the Chinese New Year to take into consideration.” says backer Kyle Andraschko.

Ryan at BGSmack

Published: 02/26/2020
Author: Ryan at BGSmack

Note: This article is satire and for entertainment purposes. There is no affiliation with any of the companies or people mentioned in the article. 

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